I actually don’t have commitment issues. What I have is completion issues. As I opened my blog publishing site I groaned and said ugh! Why did I commit to blogging everyday until my wedding? I did it because I have been called to, and it is important to build habit to the things that are important to me. I want to go into this marriage ready to crush my life goals. So I had better condition myself so I don’t groan about it after. What better way to begin blogging again and wondering what to blog about than to share my crazy 37 day journey!
Day 35 and I did not do a lot for the wedding, but I did confirm some things and make some appointments. I also gave into Joshua and listened to his advice about my failing hip. I am (after years of pain) going to go see a chiropractor again. As was explained to me, my hip never went back after Lucille’s birth. The older I get the more I hurt. The more weight I gain the slower I get. Monday I will also start going to the gym with Joshua and put the effort into my health, body and mind. Joshua loves me just the way I am, but I’m not getting any younger and we want to share as many years together as possible, so this is important to us both. I do not want to take my life for granted so I need to put my health at the forefront of my life along with God and my soon to be husband and children.
I am so grateful to be sober today. Because I can tell you first hand using drugs does take a toll. I was always tired and I literally slept my life away. Remember how I said yesterday how exhausted I was and how little I was sleeping since the proposal. Well last night was no different. Staying up into the wee hours of the morning talking and learning more about each other on a deeper level we realized we were actually talking until 530am! I honestly felt like a teenager who sat up all night on the phone. So 6am I finally fell asleep and 10am I was wide eyed and fully awake. I tried to nap and I could not. I have no desire to sleep away my life because I finally have a life worth living. Not because of Joshua, but because I have purpose now, and I did not have that without God.
I believe tonight I will sleep soundly and early.
Another love quote because I am so fully in love and want to share it with the world. I pray everyone finds their one.
“Thinking of you keeps me awake. Dreaming of you keeps me asleep. Being with you keeps me alive.” -Inconnu
XX B