I believe I fail often, but it is what you do when you fail that defines who you are as a person. I’m not one to stay down and my history has proven that. I am a warrior, a fighter and an all around Badass in this thing we call life.
I quite enjoyed school growing up, I didn’t think I was the smartest but I was definitely not dumb. I was always proud to show off my work to my Mother, the one person I wanted acceptance from, but it was not accepted. Slowly my self esteem dwindled. The sexual abuse I experienced also pushed me lower into self doubt. I always thought everything I did wasn’t good enough. A grade 8 drop out I began to believe I was not smart at all and could never achieve greatness in life. I never saw myself with a career and I could never stick to one thing long enough.
Accounting, office work, retail, sales. None of it seemed for me. I also had low self esteem and played it small in most jobs. I was always afraid someone would tell me I was doing it all wrong and I was done feeling stupid in my adult life after spending my teen years surrounded by those feelings.
Today I don’t think I am dumb but I do have some traits that hold me back. I sometimes self sabotage and my procrastination skills are on point and I’m not proud of that lol. Now just before Summer this year I was approached on Facebook by a woman who just loved what I was doing with my social media. She was amazed at my confidence challenges and bringing community together. She saw me for the service work I was doing to make the world a better place. We met in person shortly after and from the moment we met she believed in me. She saw something in me and not only praised me for my awesomeness but invested in me.
See this woman is owner of Primetuitive Education and she wanted me to take one of her classes called Train the Trainer. She invested her time and invited me to take her course. She saw something in me I didn’t see. She saw my strengths and she was positive I was meant to be on her team in the near future teaching her programs.
So about this good news I had. I got the call today that I was asked to take the Project Manager program, and was told I would be simply amazing at it too! As I blushed hearing these compliments I started to hear those limiting beliefs in the back of my head that I am not qualified and would pretty much suck.
And then I found this
When people have trust in you and believe that you will be good at something trust what they see
So, I will walk into this program next week with my head held high ready to learn. If I don’t know the answer to something I will ask for an explanation. And I will give 100% of my ability into these next 11 weeks.
I’m not going to lie. I am nervous and scared. Nervous because that is just a natural reaction. Scared because I live a pretty busy yet relaxed life and this is game time. Time to start living life at full speed and take the opportunities that are going to put my future in a good place. A place of abundance and reliability. As a single Mother this is going to be tough, but I have some pretty Badass people in my life that support me and are willing to help me.
I am always so grateful for where I am today. I have reinvented myself, lost family, been vulnerable, built integrity, fallen down plenty but most of all I have managed to constantly get back up and build a family built on friends.
It is all about living a Badass life and I intend on being as Badass at life as I can!! I will rock this program and by next year I will be teaching.
So you never know who is watching and you never know who is willing to invest in you. If someone ever believes in you make sure you trust what they see.
XX Badass Bon