Wouldn’t you like to know the key to success? The secret to succeeding? What if I told you that you are the key. You are the secret. It comes down to investing, hard work and being badass.
Now when I say investing I don’t mean going and jumping into every opportunity that requires an investment but to invest in yourself. I also do not mean you need to invest your money (although you sometimes need to) but to invest your time. Always remember time is money; there is NO such thing as a free lunch. If you have taken macro-economics you would know this concept. Imagine someone gave you something for free but you had to pick it up an hour away. You have paid for fuel and time. Time is my highest commodity that I spend very wisely. I of course wouldn’t be where I am today without investing money in the form of licences, books, travel and merchandise.
Hard work is a key component to success. Not everyone’s dreams are far reached like mine have been (I am not going to be Oprah as I am Bonnie, but I will be the Canadian equivalent) but dreams take work and dedication. I tried sitting on the sidelines waiting for opportunities to be tossed into my lap. Let me help you not waste your time and tell you to work for it. I now see I couldn’t expect to be invited to speak if no one has heard me speak yet, but once I put myself out there and started building relationships with key players I was a welcome addition to many stages.
Being badass! Well you certainly don’t need to be, but I ask why the heck wouldn’t you want to be? Being badass to me means standing for what I believe in NO MATTER WHAT! It means going against what society thinks success is. It means saying NO to abuse, violence, addiction and poor choices. It means not being a door mat. It means having an opinion and not changing it because it doesn’t fit someone else’s opinion. And it most definitely means not giving a shit what people think of me.
I was scared last year of what people would think of me for engaging with my parents after all they put me through. Crazy right? Why should I be shamed for something my 2 to 10 year old self had no control over? That’s right, I damn well shouldn’t be nor am I today. I speak openly and freely of my traumatic childhood, and if you don’t like the truth then I suggest you keep on clicking to another blog because I have kept secrets for far too long. I am here to share my stories to inspire us all to share our stories. This idea of a better world does exist I believe with truth and unity. I have since abandoned my parents with not a second thought in the same way they chose to abuse me and steal my innocence without a second thought.
Now some of you may wonder what successes I have had with the above formula so let me lay it on you. 554 days ago I was partying as if it were 1999. I was drinking like my usual self (out of oblivion) and higher than a kite on cocaine. Looking back I remember I didn’t like the taste of alcohol or the action of snorting stuff up my nose, but I did and I did in extreme excess. I was a cutter and was screaming for help without saying help as I never wanted to be deemed helpless. 553 days ago I woke up and just knew I was done. I had an idea if I got sober and my husband got sober he would love me and our lives would be enriched. Hahahahahahahahaha (let’s get real) never force a relationship with someone who doesn’t value or support you!! Fast forward to today and I am sober and full of life and love. I am an international best selling author, public speaker, shame fighter, BADASS and here to change the way we deal with sexual abuse. I travel for events and have started new endeavours and movements are being formed. I am no longer screaming for help but screaming I will help YOU! I do not want to be better than anyone else (although I strive to be the best for me and my children) but I want to inspire all survivors to be badass like me. Own our pasts and stand up to show all we can overcome.
I offer my hand to anyone who feels they are alone on this quest of self discovery. I have been there, and I can guarantee if you ditch the shame you will be free. I leave you with a picture from this weekend where I met all the authors of the book I have one of my stories in.
Sacred Hearts Rising Summit 2018 Edmonton, Alberta