I believe habits can be broken, but only with extreme dedication can I overcome my defects of character. Yes, life has given me some sour lemons to bite on and with these hard times I have branded myself into an inspiration to many, however I do not have it all figured out. Just know that as I figure it out I will share all I learn along the way. When I first got sober my story was stuck on my addictions and shame, and then the childhood stuff came out, and eventually the breakdown of my marriage. I have had some extreme highs along the way followed by extreme lows. Time for some truth! I have weeks where my depression is so bad all I want to do is sleep. I then feel no motivation for another week as I come back to my normal.
I just want everyone to know that I have hard times too. It is what we do when we’re down that defines us, and although I may check out at times you will never see me stay down long.
So now that I have given some explanation to why I sometimes miss blogging for a couples weeks lets play catch up.
As you all knew I competed for the Miss BC title over the Canada Day long weekend. I still can’t believe I made it through the intense rehearsals and show in heels and beautiful outfits. I am not a morning person and the days started by 730 each morning and went until 10 each night. What would normally be a very uncomfortable situation for me was the complete opposite. I for once in my life felt 100% accepted. I was the oldest competitor in my category, quite possibly the largest and probably the loudest. I made friends with everyone including the girls competing for Miss Teen BC. The diversity was amazing and hearing everyone’s story really drove home how we all have a story and each one is meant to inspire someone.
I had this feeling the entire weekend that I was doing quite well and even for a moment thought I was going to win this thing. Needless to say I did not win the title, but I did win two awards. First, I won the heart and soul award. This award was won by all the competitors votes as to who was the most inspirational. We voted after hearing everyone share their story in 60 seconds. The second award I won was The People’s Choice award. This award was chosen by the public who had the opportunity to vote their favourite competitor throughout most of June. I was completely honoured to win those awards and just proved to me I am making a difference in the world. My power is resilience. I am proof that no matter how tough I get it I better get on my two feet and live! Live so to show others life is worth living!
I am forever grateful for the opportunity to compete this year, and I am 75% sure I will be competing next year as well. The opportunity to hold a title and use it to further help others is my mission and I really stand for everything Miss BC offers. I would love to help others compete in this competition as well. Let’s get out of our comfort zones and do the unthinkable. We live once, so let’s live it bravely and with purpose.