A friend once said to me last year that we meet people for a reason, a season or a lifetime and this saying has helped me throughout my journey as people come and go in my life. When I got sober many old friends became a distant memory as my lifestyle changed so abruptly, and I struggled with the losses immensely. I have always had a very big heart and loss is never an easy pill to swallow.
3 months into my sobriety I joined a makeover challenge. 7 days into the challenge my brother died. At the end of the challenge I made my declaration to become a public speaker and to spread awareness about sexual abuse. I stood up to my abusers once and for all. During all these difficult times I have had the pleasure of many friends support me. I grew some incredible bonds with women who became my ride or die crew. I broke down with some of these girls and told them my deepest darkest secrets, but what I didn’t expect was for none of them to be in my life today.
There are no reunion get togethers, no messages to say hello and sadly phone calls/texts are left unanswered. Monday I spoke at an event that will be aired on tv and I thought I would for sure have many attend the event since tickets were such an affordable price. We are talking $10 compared to the usual events I do where minimum cost is $100. Not one person came and I really wondered where was my tribe. I’ve processed these new revelations and I get it now. These people I miss and feel abandoned by are my season and reason friends, and I am grateful for the roles they played in my life, but the purpose has been met and I am moving into the next chapter of my life.