Why is it so hard to say no, or it is okay or I am sorry. In the world of social media and being able to contact people at a whim I find people will simply ignore. Heck, I do it too. The guys that message me each and every morning and do not take the hint by me leaving them unread, the friend that wants to gossip or the constant people trying to show me their businesses. The thing is, sometimes I am that person left unread or ignored.
When I gather the courage to ask someone of something and I am ignored the feeling in the pit of my stomach is one that brings me back to my childhood. I am constantly looking for reassurance and acceptance. Just because I help others with these struggles doesn’t mean I am immune to them myself. It really hurts my feelings, but I get it. I don’t like saying no because I don’t want to hurt feelings, but saying no is actually more beneficial to me and those around me. So next time I ask someone something and they can’t help I hope they say no, because ignoring me hurts way more. It makes me feel abandoned when it took me such courage to ask in the first place. It makes me question our friendship and if you respect me as a person.
Now this goes for me too. A couple weeks ago someone offered me a long overdue apology and I really wanted to ignore it, but instead I said thank you. I mean it wasn’t that hard at all, and it most likely validated his feelings of doing the right thing. If I would have ignored the apology I believe he would be stuck in his head about why he doesn’t deserve forgiveness.
This urge to people please is evident in more people than just me. Here’s the thing though. We aren’t supposed to please everyone. We aren’t supposed to all agree on everything. Life would be damn boring if we all had the same opinion don’t you think? I promote you to discuss your opinions even if they are different from mine. You may not sway my thoughts, but a good debate is always in good fun I believe.
We all need to use our voice more. We need to speak up and out much more often and discuss issues. We need to reach out to our friends more. We need to learn to say no when we want to and without explanation because no is a complete sentence.
So I challenge myself, and some of these things I have been doing already. If I am not interested in a product I will say so, if someone keeps waving in my inbox or messaging me I will tell them I am not interested and to please stop and if someone asks me a question I don’t want to say yes to I will say no. I will also start having more discussions because this opens the door for more learning. I will listen to peoples opinions on things and possibly open my eyes to a different way of thinking. I will stop ignoring people because I know the feeling simply doesn’t feel good and I will continue to reach out to my tribe. Now I challenge yourself to do the same.
XX Badass Bon