Day 6 and a random look at my playlist from shuffle

Mostly rap as I suspected it would be with a sprinkle of country hahaha. Not much I can say about my music, but I can definitely touch base on other things.

Like how fucking crazy I am going, yet how anxious I am about what the future will look like. I am used to living alone with my kids, and I’m definitely used to being single, but I am not used to not seeing so many of my friends. Yes, I have gone out and seen some people but in a safe and distant way. A lot of people are practicing complete isolation and I respect everyone’s decision but I need some form of human contact or I would be in full depression I am sure.

Then I think about schools possibly opening and I’m like nope! Ill stay home in isolation. It’s a very strange feeling. I want to see people but I don’t want to get sick. I want the kids to socialize but I don’t want to take any chances. I feel some sort of fear about everything going back to normal. Anxiety can suck sometimes. I can’t seem to win.

I’m sure some people were offended by my decision to go quadding two weeks ago with friends, but I assure you we were all safe. I think it is important to do what is best for you. Yes if I got covid it would be deathly for me, but sitting here alone is feeling pretty hard too. It’s like the walls are closing in on me and I have no one.

I do have many people I can rely on, but I hate talking on the phone except to a handful of people, and I can’t spend my days texting everyone I know or I wouldn’t have time to even eat. Seems to be a lose-lose situation.

What I do know is TikTok has become my past time, cooking has become a chance to try new things and the amount of time my teenage daughter actually spends in her room is astonishing. Am I that bad to hang around hahahaha….. today I actually did my hair and make up and went to check the mail. #livingthedream

Whatever your situation during these times know you definitely are not alone. Some of us are really struggling.

Stay Strong because we are all doing the very best we can.

xx Badassbon

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